Day 9 - Heart of the Matter

If I had to make a list of what matters most in my life it would go as follows

1. God
2. My Husband
3. My Children
4. Hurting people
5. Great friends

I'm not sure I always live this way. Some say look at your checkbook for your priorities (especially if they want you to tithe LOL), if we did that for me it'd look like this: Southwind, debts and bills. No family, no friends. And if we look at how I spend my time the priorities in my life would look something like this:

• Keeping up the house
• time with children (either they're cleaning, doing homework or watching tv)
• time with husband (watching tv or doing chores)
• television

Either way my friends and family get the raw end of the deal. God and hurting people barely make the list except to say that I support Southwind Community Church.

BUT NO MORE

I will change my patterns. People do mean something to me, family does mean a lot to me. Good friends are hard to come by and harder yet to keep. My value system will change.

From now on the housework will still be done but not with all my energy. I will schedule time to be with hurting people. I will engage my children with eye contact and conversation. I will call or write to my friends. My husband will have time with me, just me - no kids - and we will have meaningful conversation.

People have a value to me.
What is a person worth to you?


The "Make it last for life" questions today are poignant and I hope you do some of them as I share them with you.
1. Make a list of the people you would want to see and to share your heart with if you knew your time on earth was limited to one more month. What specific steps could you take to connect with one of them and share your heart? It could be as simple as making a date with your spouse or planning a reunion with a close friend.

2. Choose someone you know you have hurt by your words, actions, or silence. Write a letter asking this person's forgiveness and explaining everything you'd like to say before it's too late. Set the letter aside for a few days, and then reread it and decide if you should send it.

3. Think through your schedule for the next day or two. No matter how busy you may be, find a time to surprise someone you Love. Take a friend to a favorite restaurant. pick up the kids early from school and go to the park. Kidnap your spouse from the office and go out for coffee. Find a way to add quality connections to your life on a daily basis.

Days 5,6,7 and 8

Am I spiritually healthy? I believe I am, but what does that really mean? I have to remember daily that in order to help others I must first put the oxygen mask on myself. If I was nearing the end of my days I would make time to daily commune with God, why not start now? Spiritual growth will come if we begin to make ourselves spiritually healthy. Commune with God and His word, confess our wrongdoings and seek God's will.

In seeking God's will can I still fulfill MY dreams? Would God give me dreams that I couldn't fulfill? NEVER! There are some guidelines for determining your God given dreams that I agree with.

To determine God's dream, or your idea

1. God's dream will never go against His word, His will never contradicts His word.
2. It will be so big in your life, you can't do it alone. It requires Faith. if you can accomplish it yourself, no faith is required.
3. God places it deep in your heart. He doesn't give you a passion for one dream and then call you to fulfill a life plan that's completely unrelated.

But watch out, once you've analyzed and prayed and decided you've found your dream. you're officially a threat to the enemy. Satan knows the dream starts in your heart, he's committed to wounding your heart and taking it out of commission. Then if he can't keep us from pursuing God's dream for our lives, he changes tactics and tries to get us to doubt those very dreams God gave us.

God has given me a dream, a desire. I desire to see lost, hurting people come to know Christ in such a way that there is an undeniable, attractive difference in their every day life. People need to be filled with the Holy Spirit so fully it's spilling out everywhere. Not only for lost people but for the church in general. We've become lazy and complacent. I want to awaken a generation. Satan has tried to deter and change the vision but it has been reawakened. I don't know how yet but it will be accomplished!

If I only had 30 days, this tightness in my chest I feel when speaking/writing about this dream would be dispersed for I would be accomplishing it instead of burying it. There is an urgency in now. I should feed the homeless, engage my children to do the same, sing daily, lead others in acts of service and look after the poor, oppressed, alien, widows and orphans. Maybe I should just start, go for it.

Maybe you should too.

Day 4 - Power Surge

You don't have a soul,You are a soul.
You have a body.
-C.S. Lewis

How true. If I am to live my life connected to the power source, connected to the vine, I must always keep in mind the difference between eternal and mortal. I believe there are things we are to do with our mortal bodies, we should keep them healthy. We should keep our physical surroundings manageable, but all these things done simply so w can free our physical selves to do Kingdom work.

So, Father God, when I am cleaning I give it all up to you that I am ready if You bring someone to my doorstep. And....If I have not completed my "work" and you bring someone I give that up to You that I may be focused on the person, not my house.

I desire to stay always connected to the vine. Remind me that I am only a branch. The branch may hold the fruit but the vine produces it.

For the next 30 days I will focus on spiritual health, not spiritual growth, knowing that healthy people grow.

Be with me. Remind me.
Erika

Day 3 - Time Squared

"We're conditioned to believe that in order for our time to be worthwhile, we must have something to show for it. The result is that we all need downtime to rest and to worship, to still ourselves before God, to think about our lives and to listen to His voice. The paradox is that we may not have anything to show for these truly productive moments. If you knew you only had one month to live, wouldn't you want to take more time to linger over a meal with your family> inhale the rich aroma of a cup of coffee as you watch the sunrise through your kitchen window? None of these events will produce a product or allow you to point to an accomplishment. But they're essential to our well-bing. I'd venture that most of your precious memories occurred in spontaneous moments when you were paying attention to the present. We're created for more than work. Our value is so much more than what we do."

My current season of life feels like I'm stuck in a constant summer. Trying to use my time wisely but knowing in the back of my mind that it just keeps slipping away, school's almost back in session. Can't get it back fast enough. I try to take time to spend with the kids more. But in doing so I feel guilty for not accomplishing something in my "stay-at-home mom job." No dishes done, no floor swept, no laundry put away. I know those feelings get put onto the kids when I am with them. They are so loving and forgiving though, they hardly notice that I'm aloof. They do ask me though, "Mommy what are you staring at?" When I'm lost in thoughts of what I should be doing or who I should be contacting, they notice. I find myself in that situation often lately due to stress from the church plant and other family issues. But I know one thing, if I only had one month to live I would not interrupt those precious times spent with family.

Here's to truly being there. More.

Let's all connect, truly connect.

day 2

Live Passionately
Roller Coasters

1. My biggest regret if I only had a few weeks to live would be that I never returned to true deep friendship with Mariah and that no matter what, I couldn't help put their marriage back together.

2. My Someday Syndrome would include:
Someday I'll weigh 135 again
Not sure on anything else on that list.

3. My metaphor for my life fully engaged would be. Seeing God fully in every aspect of life like when Elijah heard him in the still small voice after the wind. Fully engaged would be like a peaceful whirlwind. Tornado that has sunlight on the edges. Fully functioning, creating its own energy but with God's peace surrounding it. Excitement, fear and grace.


To fully engage in my life means I have to lose control. I am an introvert but to live fully I need to learn to make conversation with people, real conversation. Look into their soul and see them as Jesus sees them. Ask the hard questions. All the while living with grace in my heart, head and hand. Willing to take what I know and pass it on to others.

Lord help me, guide me.

Erika

" As I look at life from a God-level perspective, I begin to understand that the life of faith that everyone else calls ridiculous is the only reasonable way to live."

Day 1

I am reading the book One Month To Live. It is about getting your life to a "no-regrets life" in 30 days. In doing so I am keeping a blog of their questions at the end of the chapters and of prayers in general. Hope you enjoy and this challenges you to live a no regrets life.

Living the Dash

5 Things about my life I would change if I knew I only had a month to live

1. I'd have coffee with friends more
2. I'd talk to my family every day. Real conversations. With mom, dad, Kati and Mark.
3. I'd end every phone conversation with people I love with "I Love You." No matter the subject or whether or not the feeling was reciprocal at the time.
4. Sing worship songs every day.
5. Read to my kids every night.

At the end of this book I'd like to live each day with abandon. Not being crazy but being aware of and following God's guidance and leading. To be in the same key, singing the same tune as God, nature and my family.

"You get to choose how to spend that little dash of time between the two dates of your earthly existence. Are you living the dash, knowing fully who you are and why you're here?"

God -
Remind me daily to live. love. encourage. guide. give grace. listen. connect.

I love you!
Erika